Why did I put up with him for so long? He wasn’t very helpful. He seemed determined to thwart my attempts at creativity. On more than one occasion, he wasn’t to be found when I really needed him.
A great paring knife cannot be overrated. And I didn’t have one. He, my knife, was barely good.
DH is not a great picker-upper-of-hints, so every year for my birthday, Christmas, anniversary—you name the gift-giving occasion—he asks me for a list. Do I ask DH for a list? No. I pay attention to things he says throughout the year, entering the ideas into a file on my computer for ready access. Is that so hard???
So how could he miss that I really, really, really needed a great new paring knife. So, dutifully (it’s what wives do), I put to buy a great paring knife on my list for him. Actually, great doesn’t communicate to DH, so I told him to buy me an “expensive paring knife.” That always works.
I know, I know, I know. Expensive doesn’t always mean “great”—still, he’d have a better shot at success if that was the guideline.
So, the story he told Christmas Day was, it worked. He went to his favorite store to buy me kitchen goodies and told the clerk he wanted an expensive paring knife. The helpful clerk assisted him. As DH tells it, he was taken aback at how much such a short thing could cost. Oh, goodie! That bodes well for me and future cutting adventures!
He picked it up to take to the register to pay, and the clerk swiped it out of his hands. “I’ll carry that to the register for you, Sir.”
DH: “Oh, that’s all right. I know the way. I’ve been here before.”
Clerk: “It’s our policy, Sir.”
DH (offended): “I’m not going to steal it.”
Clerk: “I didn’t think you would. No, this is so you don’t cut anything or anyone on your way.”
At this point in DH’s story, I started laughing. Like DH would even know which end of a paring knife to hold to do damage!
So, the clerk escorted him and my knife to the register, and I got a great new paring knife—with no blood from wrapping accidents.
How do I tell him he has just begun to replace every darn, dull, cheap knife in my kitchen? I better wait until the next gift-giving occasion when he’ll be in a better mood.
Here’s my much-easier-to-make bruschetta mix recipe, Twitter-style. I just slice right through those Romas! Get more “tweats” from me @good2tweat.
Bruschetta Mix: 8 Roma tom/3 minst grlc clv/1 sliced grlc clv/2T evoo/3T chopt basil Mix + 2T Asiago. 1T on evoo toasted brd slices + asiago
I almost missed minst (minced)until I realized that to tweet using the fewest letters, you just spell like a brand new first grader.Eze Peze!So is the recipe and it's so gud. Keep em coming.
ReplyDeleteLOL It can be challenging. Sometimes it is better to read it aloud so you can practice which vowels were left out!
ReplyDelete